Breakin' up is hard to do

My mom has a large family, three sisters and one brother to be exact. Multiply that by spouses and children and it equals out to about 16 people. Family gatherings were always loud and fun.

My dad has a small family, one half sister, a mother he disowned about 10 years ago and a father who died when my dad was in his 20s.

When my parents were married it made the decision of where to go for the holidays easy. There was really no one to visit on my dad's side, so we would make our way to a small town in North Louisiana and hunker down in my grandparent's house. I loved it there.

After my parents got divorced it was still easy. I was 13 and they told me where to be. Thanksgiving with my Dad, Christmas with my Mom.

Also I got two birthdays and two Christmases. AWESOME!

Until I turned 18. Then I had to make my own decisions. Crap.

Being a divorced kid is difficult. I hate leaving one parent alone for any holiday. I always end up feeling really guilty about it.

People always say divorce is hard on the kids because they have a broken house hold blah blah, but really I think it's hard because you have to choose. Mother vs. Father. It's a hard decision to make.

Sometimes I wish I were 13 again and could just let the winds take me where they may. I find decision making extremely hard. I guess that's the Libra in me. I want everyone to be happy, and can rarely just do what I want. Because essentially what I want is for everyone to be happy.

Maybe I just just move to a shack in the woods and become a crazy hermit. Maybe not. The woods creep me out.

Oh well. At least I still get two birthdays and two Christmases.